Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
