I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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