She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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