I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
