her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Two words: blizzard sex
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
