So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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