At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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