I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Drunk is not a location!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
