I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
