i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
