Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
