I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
