He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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