i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
