Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
