if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
