South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize