please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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