Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
