We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
