idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
