so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he laminated a picture of his dick.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
