I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
