dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
