Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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