I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
