I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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