Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
