Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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