his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
