Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
