he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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