Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize