Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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