I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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