I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
