Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
