I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize