I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
