i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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