I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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