life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
