Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
