We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
