"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
