Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
