The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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