Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i think i just lost a toe
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
