well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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