I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
