Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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