Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
