The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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