forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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