I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I believe in your delicious
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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