That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
