this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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