WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize