ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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