The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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