You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
