You really coming over, don't trick.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
