once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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