i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
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Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
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This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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