The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
