Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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