I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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