you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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