I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize