just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
