I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
