Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i would punch a child for taco bell
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
